Living By A Thread

Ever feel like you're hanging by a thread and that at any moment the thread is going to break and you're going to come crashing down? I feel that way with my current story. And to be honest, I'm getting quite the rush out of it!

This story started with a tiny kernal of an idea. A what if. I love "What If's" because they get me thinking about my world a little differently. There's nothing like looking at the world just a little differently. But I digress.

So, the story started with this little idea. What if there was a woman who left her home town because of a tragedy, hoping to never return but is forced to come back? What if when she gets back, her world is turned upside down because what she thought to be true wasn't?

Well, that's how the idea started. It's not how it's going. Well, the heroine left town after tragedy and is now forced to come back, but it's not for the reasons I dreamt up.

This is why I love writing! It takes me through all these twists and turns and I never end up somewhere I've been before. Oh, it's frustrating too because I don't control the story even though I like to think I do. Somewhere in my fertile imagination the story is growing and unfolding but it only comes to my conciousness little pieces at a time. It's like hanging by this thread, swinging around and seeing if the direction I'm going is strong enough for the thread to hold my weight. Sometimes the thread unravels or snaps and I fall back to the previous thread. That hurts.

But other times, the thread holds strong and I climb up it, learning more and more about the characters who demand my attention and their worlds. It's fascinating. But I also know that any time, the entire story could come crashing down around me and I'll be forced to start back at square one. That's my fear. And probably where I'm getting the rush right now. Because as of today, I've only had one itsy bitsy thread snap. Everything else has been golden! Well, for now. No sense jinxing the thing, right?

The Story Strikes Back

The husband and I were attending the wedding of a friend of ours on Saturday. It was a lovely affair - candles, fresh-cut evergreens as garlands, beautiful music and heartfelt vows. We were honored to be witnesses to this monumental step in the lives of our friends.

About a third of the way through the hour long service, I started hearing voices in my head. My characters were not going to give me a break! I had been giving them all sorts of attention over the Christmas week, reaching an all time high of 30 pages in one week. I thought I was doing fairly well and deserved a break from the book. The characters had other ideas.

They were so insistent, so compelling, that I had to pull a notebook out of my purse and in the middle of the special music and scripture reading, start writing the beginnings of a new scene. My husband looked over at me and frowned, a little put out that I was paying attention to "them" again. Poor guy. He didn't make a fuss, especially when I put the notebook down to hear the actual exchange of vows and rings.

It was a little off putting to have the book be so much on my mind while I was at this wedding. I really did try to stuff the information back, tried to convince my characters that they were going to have my full attention later that evening, if they would just let me have these few hours with my friends. I guess I had ignored them a bit too much over the last few months, only giving them my time when I had exhausted all other distractions in my life. So they keep nattering at me until I gave in, thus reassuring them that I am invested in telling their story.

Since Saturday, they have been a little calmer, waiting until I'm at the computer before they start sharing with me the next piece of their journeys. I'm happy they are being a bit more gentle with me. But I expect they will demand my attention at some inopportune time in the not so distant future. The voices in my head are funny that way.

All I Want For Christmas

I have some very persuasive friends. They have been going on and on about a new series about vampires that I just had to read. The Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J. R. Ward. I held out for a long time because I didn't want to start another series about vamps. So over done, right? Um, no, Not if the way this author has written these books are any indication. In a word, wow.



I picked up the first three books in the series late last week. And while visions of sugarplums should have been dancing through my head, I found myself settling in with some very totured, very hot vampire warriors, their highly destructive yet incredibly loyal human friend and some incredibly strong women. Not to mention so slick & sick evil guys. Yowza! And the high body count. Always a plus. *evil grin*



Wrath's book, Dark Lover, was a great set up to the series. I loved this story and the dark world into which I found myself being drawn. All the brothers are amazing. But even in that first story, I found myself drawn to the brother who stood toward the outside of the circle, the brother who was a little off, a lot twisted and oh so lost. I'm a sucker for the lost ones.


With Wrath's story finished, my heart bleeding for poor Darius and for Zsadist, I quickly grabbed Lover Eternal from my pile of books. Rhage is not my favorite brother, but as I became entranced with his story, he showed himself worthy. The book had so many layers - the lessers (souless vampire hunters) and their power struggles and ambitions, the orphaned and mute pre-transition vampire John, the aristocratic and fearless vampiress Bella, Zsadist, his twin Phury and all the other brothers.


I love how the story was about Mary as much as it was about Rhage and that with every dark turn there was a glimmer of hope. I also loved how the book didn't just center around this couple, but showed others in the Brotherhood, so when Bella stepped into the house for the party I was sunk. Just as I knew Zsadist was sunk.

And Phury. Don't get me started on that. Man, I almost teared up. Almost.


Then, on the heels of the cliff hanger ending, I picked up Lover Awakened and tossed it in my purse as we went to a family Christmas Eve gathering. I found a quiet corner and settled in. For here was the story I knew was going to break my heart. Wrath and Rhage and Darius and John were all tugging at it, twisting it just a little before doing something to make me smile. But Zsadist was going to break it, I could tell.


And I was right. Seeing Zsadist in Bella's house all alone after clearing up the mess the invaders made, having Butch tell him he wasn't wanted, my heart cracked. Then with the first flashback, I nearly died. The pain was unbearable. And through out the book I wept for Zsadist, for the young man he once was, for the hope and the future that should have been his and for the warrior he is now.


He totally broke my heart in a way few fictional characters have been able to. I mean sobbing, aching in my chest, howling to the moon broken.


I finished Lover Awakened yesterday and my heart is still heavy. I know Zsadist will have his happily ever after, but I also know there is so much left to heal. I ache for him. I also ache for John & for Tohrment. God, do I ache for them. And Phury. My favorite line in the book is John to Phury where John tells him he's worried about him because he's in a prison with no bars. *gulp*


JR Ward truly knows her writing. I've spent the better part of the morning reading her tidbits on the bb and she appears so very passionate about these characters and their world. It shows in her stories and in how she interact with her growing horde of fans.


And dammit, she made me cry!


If you're looking for something different, though not something for the weak of heart, I highly recommend this series. The next book, Lover Revealed, will be coming out in March I believe. Sigh, yet one more series where I have to wait with baited breath efor the next book. However shall I fill my days? Um, by working on my own darned book!

Et Tu, Nano?

Well, it's November 30th and I went through my word count for the month and came up with a whopping 13,000 words. And that's including what I've hand written

At first blush, I'm disappointed. I knew I wasn't going to make my 50,000 word goal, but I thought I would at least break 20,000. Nope. Didn't even break 15,000.

I stopped and read through what I had written. It's pretty good stuff, if I do say so myself. I've learned through this that I can write without an outline and I can get a lot done in a short amount of time. Not only that, but what I write, when I go from the gut, can be quite good.

I also realized that this month was heavy with things that took my focus away from writing. I didn't handle that as I had hoped I could handle it, but I think I've learned that sometimes life is going to get in the way. And it's okay. The key is to pick up the pieces quickly after and to keep moving foward.

I've also learned that it's easy to get out of a habit, but that once I'm in a daily writing habit, I don't spend as much time trying to find the story again when I finally do sit down to write. I know, it's a "Duh" moment, but sometimes it takes me a little while to get the hang of things. And even though I've learned this lesson, that doesn't mean I'm going to live it. I'm rather, um, bad that way, lol.

I guess, all in all NANO was a good experience. I didn't reach my goal. But I learned things I don't think I would have learned if I had been successful with my goal. Isn't that what life is about? How you live the journey, not necessarily where you end up? No? Well, it sounds good anyway.

And So It Goes...

I had all these plans of writing this weekend. I carved out time. I made sure the house was clean (well, relatively clean). I even had a few crock pot meals going so I didn't have to spend much time cooking dinner.

Then I remembered I had an all day engagement on Saturday. I was presenting a training at church for the children's ministry volunteers. Okay, so I needed to spend some time prepping for that and would be training all day. There were two videos in the training. I could write during those and over lunch. No problem.

Except I hadn't copied enough handouts for the morning session so had to use my "writing" time to make and organize copies. I still had lunch, right? Um, not really. Just as I had pulled out my AlphaSmart, my phone rang. So-and-So couldn't make it to the afternoon session, would I hold another session? Yes, I would be holding future sessions, but not until after Christmas. Let me take your name and put you on my list of people to connect with in the new year.

My tummy started growling so I left, picked up some hideous fast food and came back. I still had 30 minutes. I could get a couple of pages written in 30 minutes. Except someone stopped in and wanted to know how the training was going and was I going to hold future sessions. Being the nice and accommodating person that I am, I chatted for a bit, let my hideous fast food become vile by getting cold and took something for the headache that was brewing behind my eyes.

The next time I checked the clock, it was time to get the space ready for my afternoon session. There went my writing time. By the time I went home, I was exhausted. Don't get me wrong, I love training! And coaching. And having intellectual dialogues in general. But I have this goal to finish a rough draft of my current book by the end of November and something always seems to get in the way of that goal. Good things, but they get in the way nonetheless.

I just did my word count and I'm at 6500 words. Okay, that's more than I was at this time last week, but I'm still in the first third of the story.

I know, I know. Quit whining, Naomi! If this goal means so much to me, I need to find a way to make it happen. I know that life is not going to stand still while I work on my Great American Novel, so maybe I need to adjust my goal. Maybe my goal is not to have the book finished but to spend 30 minutes a day working on moving this draft forward. Can I do 30 minutes a day? Most days, yes. I write this and I feel some of the tension releasing inside me. Goals sometimes have to change. Or timelines adjust. And that's okay. It doesn't mean I have to give up on the goal or dream. Which is what I usually do.

So that's my learning moment for the day. Nano, you have not beaten me!

NaNo - Week 2

NaNo writers all over the world have started week two of the challenge. According to the website, if you are on track, one should have 14,000 to 17,500 words written by now. The theory is ramping up when the energy is high to make up for potential loss of momentum as the month progresses.

Here is my current word count - 5500.

Yup, you read it. I'm way below the halfway point if I had been following the advice of the NaNo gods.

Am I worried. No, not really. My word count is not my primary concern this month. My goal was/is to write every day. And to not go back and edit. The ultimate goal is to have a skeleton draft finished that I can then finesse into a solid and compelling novel.

Still, seeing those numbers gives me a little angst. I am a wee bit competetive, after all. I guess I need to let that go and concentrate on moving forward at my pace. It isn't a race. And it isn't about comparing my success with someone else's. It's about me doing the best I can do in this moment.

Sometimes I scare myself with my insightfulness. *grin*

I have added a couple of new links to my blog. My friend Rayna Vause has a website dedicated to her writing. She is not published, but I have hopes that she will be. She's very active in her RWA chapter and she has a wonderful writing voice. Check her out!

Publishing industry insider and research Dee Power, co-author of the book "The Making of a Bestseller: Success Stories From Authors and the Editors, Agents and Booksellers Behind Them" has a very insightful blog on the publishing industry.Check her out as well. I haven't read her book but have added it to my list at the library.

Other than that, I have decided to embark on a low carb diet, exercise more and clean my house in that way that is often reserved for the dreaded spring cleaning. Never mind that it's November and I hate exercise and have become a lazy couch potato. And have so many other commitments that it makes my head spin. Apparently, I either don't know how to say no or I'm using these things to avoid something. Gee, I wonder what I could be avoiding? Oh, perhaps this book I'm writing? And the family angst that's hanging like a cloud over us? Nah, couldn't be that.

Okay, kids. It's back to work for me. And not the writing kind. I still have that pesky day job. Well, at least it pays the bills. *grin*

Stay well and be blessed!

NaNoWriMo - AKA My Voluntary Hell

I decided that for the current wip I was going to use NaNoWriMo as a means of jump starting the story. You know, get out of my head and get it on paper. Um, okay. Sure.

It's been a week. I have written a total of 20 pages or roughly 5000 words. The goal of NaNo is to write 50,000 words in the month of November. Which is basically a nice rough draft. One could jump up and down and say - you're a quarter of the way there, Naomi. Good for you!

And I would jump up and down, except my life has taken this lovely turn. My step-father in law is dying. My cheque book is a mess. Work is becoming busier not falling into the normal November/December lull. Things at church are gaining momentum. And then there's the husband. All this stuff is taking time. Necessary time, but time away from writing. My fear is that I'm going to get to the end of November and only have these 5000 words to show for it.

I know that's my insecurity talking and if I only dedicated 30 minutes a day I could still whip out a couple of pages. Yes, I'm learning through this that I do have it in me to be a fast writer. I'm sure most of it is dreck, but I can go back an fix it when it's on paper, I hope.

Why am I doing this again? Oh right. I have this crazy dream of one day being a published author and then making a career out of writing. And how does one become a published author? One writes a solid, compelling book and somehow manages to get that book into the hands of an agent or an editor or both. But first, you have to write that story. And then keep writing compelling stories.

That's why I'm putting myself through the hell I call NaNoWriMo. And whether I have 5000 words or 100,000 words, I have moved closer to that goal. Keep reminding me that, okay? Thanks!