Summer Madness

My life has been a bit full lately. I would say the last few months have taken their toll. My husband has been in classes and he's a bear when he's not able to relax. I helped plan and organize a family wedding, hosted said wedding and hosted family for said wedding, which was in May. I've had additional family staying with us since the middle of June. Work has been busy and I racked up a lot of hours - I think if there was comp time I could take a month off just on the extra hours I've worked since November.  My dad had surgery and is looking at the potential of more surgery. My father-in-law was diagnosed with cancer. We lost a friend to cancer. Friends have been married, children born...it's been quite the summer.

My mind has not been in the game. It's been focused on all these other things. My creativity has suffered. My sleep has suffered. My focus has become fuzzy and frayed around the edges.

I didn't realize I hadn't visited my blog in almost two months because it's hard for me to believe it's now the beginning of August. Where did June go?  I certainly don't remember being around to enjoy it. As for July, I would love to forget the heat wave that sucked the life and intelligence right out of me.

It hasn't been all bad. It's just been tiring. Even good things can be exhausting and that's what I am, exhausted. It struck me a week or so ago as I got ready to attend the U2 concert that I was truly exhausted. Body, mind and soul. It's not difficult to see how I got here. With all the good and not so good things going on in our lives over the last few months I've let my needs for rest and renewal disappear.

Last week I hit my wall and was sick for 4 days. Not the kind of sick where I could still do things like read or knit or even walk the dog. I was the lay-in-bed-and-do-nothing-but-slip-into-delirium sick for at least two and a half of those days.

I decided to reprioritize. I do this every so often and I think it's a good thing to sit down and figure out what really matters in each phase of our lives. What was important last year may not be this year. Things change. And that's okay.

My blog is still important, though my focus may be shifting. My health and well being is very important so I'm streamlining and letting go of some things that are good but suck the energy right out of me. Writing is important to me and it's high time I treat it like it is instead of like something I'll get around to when I have time. My family is important to me so I need to find balance in being a good partner and in developing my own pursuits.

That wall was a good thing. It helped wake me up so I didn't keep down autopilot road. Now that I'm awake, I anticipate great things.