When It's Difficult

Gratitudes:

1. Sunshine even on the coldest of days.
2. Good friends who let me vent and gently help me to become a better version of myself
3. Bras that fit really, really well.

My life is consumed with the day job right now. I find myself stretched in all things work/life balance, in knowledge, and in skills. I can't say I'm very comfortable right now and I'm not quite sure how I landed in this place.

I am a generalist. I'm good at a lot of things but not spectacular at many. This has served me well in that I seem to have good job security. And honestly, I enjoy learning new things. I think I need a challenge in order to maintain engagement at my place of business. The down side to being a generalist is that I get pulled into tasks and projects that don't interest me even though I have shown some proficiency with them. Or I am handed projects that,  on the surface,  look like projects I have successfully tackled, but upon closer inspection are different enough that I find myself at a loss. And feeling slow and dumb.

This is where I am right now, working a project that is similar to work I have done in the past, and done well but took me nearly forever to figure out AND this project contains elements that I am unfamiliar with or, quite frankly, suck at.

When I'm not good at something, it messes with my head. I second guess every decision I make, every action. So I'm doing something that's very difficult for me. I'm waving the white flag and asking for help and guidance because deadlines will not otherwise be met. And I may just dissolve into a pile of goo if I don't get some sort of assistance.

Waving the white flag is hard for me. I don't like to admit defeat. And I really don't like it when skills allude me. I'm a smart girl. Why is this so hard? At least I'm not waiting until I get stress induced migraines and fibro flare ups and develop an ulcer before I ask for help this time. Maybe I have grown. Maybe I've actually learned the value of asking for help. I do know I've learned my health can't sustain this amount of stress for very long. So, no matter the reason for my finally raising the white flag, I'm just glad I am.

It's good to know I can still learn and adapt. :)

A Wick By Any Other Name...

 Gratitudes:

1. An evening to myself where I can catch up on organizing the little things - like iTunes and my ebook collection - without snide comments from the husband.
2. Gluten free gourmet pizza - a nice cold weather treat for a 'me' evening
3. Pumpkin nutmeg scented candles with a crackling wooden wick

We don't have a fireplace and I've been dying for a fire ever since the weather turned mean and cold last December. With little free time I didn't hunt down a cozy pub with a roaring fireplace to become my second home. Instead I found these lovely Nature's Wick jar candles at Target. It appears that Target is the only place that sells them. I don't know how you feel about Target's current troubles, but I still shop there.

What makes these candles special, aside from some of the yummiest scents I've ever smelled, is that the wicks are made of real wood and when they burn, they crackle! While it's not as fabulous as a fireplace crackling away on a cold winter's night, they add that sense of ambiance I've been craving. Now my house smells like pumpkin pie and when I'm jonesing for a fire, I get the crackle too!

My husband does enjoy the scents, and he's fussy. Is the man ever fussy! So far the scents I've brought home are all husband approved. He likes the apple pie scent the best. Velcro Dog votes for the spruce because it reminds him of running through the woods at the cabin. Me, I honestly don't care which scent is currently lit, I just care that the candles crackle. I swear, I'm now ruined for life. I can't go back to ordinary pillar candles or votives, or even decorative candles in jars now!  There's something about the, yes, I'm going to say crackle AGAIN! There's something about that crackling sound that makes me smile and all warm and fuzzy inside. It doesn't matter how cold it is outside or how bad my day at work may have gone, I light one of these Nature's Wick candles and everything starts to turn around.

Try it! You may just like it.