Goodbye, Dear Friend

Denali, our dog of almost 14 years, has been quite sick for the last few months with cancer and advancing arthritis in his spine. Today we said a tearful and painful goodbye to our baby. It was time to take him to the vet to have him put to sleep. He hadn't been eating in almost a week, could barely walk due to the arthritis in his spine and yesterday he vomited blood.

Our vet told us that we would know when it was time. He would tell us either by not eating anymore or by stopping his interaction with us. Well, right to the end he continued to interact with us. He kept trying to follow one of us around the house, wanted to be pet or brushed and, if he was sleeping when we happened to leave a room, would seek us out. My little shadow, that was Denali.

So, because nothing we did would entice him to eat and because of the blood incident yesterday, we called the vet today and we let him go. The husband cried. I cried. Denali perked up and decided he wanted treats. I was having second thoughts because he wasn't acting like he wanted to leave us. But it was time. His quality of life had declined and the cancer was starting to do strange things to his body. His fur was falling out in clumps and we couldn't get rid of the dander no matter how we washed him.

I'm at home now, still sad and trying to not cry. My MIL is visiting and I really don't want to break down in front of her. All I think about is my baby, lying on the floor on a blanket at the vet's office, not breathing. He looked so peaceful, reminding me that he's not in pain any more. That he's somewhere playing and running and barking and smiling his sweet puppy smile. And he's happy.

But oh how the house feels empty without him. We got home from the vet and I had to stop myself from expecting to see his sweet doggie face smiling up at me from his pillow by the sliding doors, welcoming me home. I'm going to have many moments like that I'm afraid. I love him so much.

I'm going to miss you deeply and dearly, Denali. You were my first dog, and you were my best friend. And I never told you that enough but somehow you always knew you were loved and you loved us back eagerly and without judgment. Thank you for being mine for the last 14 years. You blessed me in too many ways for me to count. Goodbye, my dear dear friend.

I'll probably post some Denali stories and memories over the coming weeks. When someone, or something, touches your life you grieve when they are gone. Part of the grieving is sharing their stories. Denali's stories just may need to be told so I apologize ahead of time if it becomes boring or monotonous to you, dear reader and friend.

Hug your loved ones today, and include your pets in those hugs if you have any that are near and dear to you. Sometimes life is too damn short.

Cool Things

My new PDA has Wi-Fi. I'm wrighting this post from a coffee shop on my PDA. lt's slow and not as nice as a computer. But it's cheaper than V-Cast or internet via Treo or Blackberry. I love technology!

Final NaNo Update & Other News

Well, NaNo ended, gosh, two weeks ago. I topped out at 40,000 words. I'm still working on the story, though.

What I learned:

I learned that when life is going my way, I can write a damned fast first draft. A first draft full of plot holes and character inconsistencies, but a fast rough draft nonetheless. When life isn't going my way, I can still write a fast first draft. And I can write nearly daily without pooping out.

I also learned that when I let the story flow, the story goes a long way. I just have to get out of it's way while it's forming.

That a rough draft in a month is not impossible. Challenging, yes, but not impossible

What's Next:

I have to recover and get ready for Christmas. The MIL is visiting. Arriving next week in fact. Which means I need to have 5 months of the cheque book reconciled, the guest room cleaned out, the bathroom and kitchen scrubbed, and somehow inject myself with a good attitude.

Why a good attitude? Because we've been sick for two weeks, work is scary busy with no end in sight, and my poor car was hit. Totally the other person's fault. It's drivable and it's old enough we aren't as worried about the body damage as we are any damage to the suspension. *sigh* It always seems to pour at our house. Especially when I really really want to get into the story.

Eh, what doesn't kill us is fodder for our writing, right?

NaNo update

I had 5 uninterrupted days to write. And I did write. But when I went back and looked at my word count, my total was just shy of 5,000 words. Which totally bites.

I want to say I suck and that I'm just throwing in the towel. But I promised myself I would get to 50 thousand words. I would finish. I wouldn't just walk away, no matter how bad the story was or how things turned out.

So, I'm plugging forward. I may not make my goal by midnight on Friday, but I will make it. And you never know, I may get a huge boost of inspiration and hit 50,000 words by midnight on Friday. Anything is possible.

A Paranormal Inspirational What?

I was talking to author Patti O'Shea a few months ago and as I was asking her questions about paranormal romance, I blurted out that this story is an inspirational paranormal. She didn't bat an eye but it made me pause and think for a moment. Can paranormal stories and inspirational stories share real-estate in the same book? The answer may surprise you.

According to www.dictionary.com, paranormal means:

of or pertaining to the claimed occurrence of an event or perception without scientific explanation, as psychokinesis, extrasensory perception, or other purportedly supernatural phenomena.

Supernatural phenomena. Without scientific explanation. Interesting, is it not? Most people attribute paranormal story lines with ghosts, psychics, shapeshifters (were-creatures), vampires, witches, and the like. But if I take the definition of paranormal at face value, it includes anything that can't be explained scientifically. Which means, when  my heroine senses things about characters around her through the spiritual gift of discernment, that makes my inspirational type novel have paranormal overtones. Right?

Well, not if you talk to anyone in the inspirational markets. You don't want to go there. However, I can talk about my book being an inspirational with strong supernatural elements.

It's all in how you present the story. The story itself doesn't change if I call it a paranormal romance or an inspirational romance with supernatural elements. It's still the same story. But how it's presented will cause people to think of the story in a certain way. And depending on the slice of the market I'm after will depend on how I want editors, agents, even readers to think of it.

I'm not ready to go after anyone with the story yet, so once NaNo is over, I'm going to jump back into this story and finish it. But as I write, it's not a bad idea to be thinking about who might be attracted to such a story. Be it a paranormal with spiritual elements or an inspirational with supernatural elements. *grin*

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm alone for Thanksgiving this year. The boy's family decided to visit his sister in the mountains of Colorado. I was going to go but a couple of weeks ago we decided the dog was in no condition to travel and we don't kennel him so I got to stay home. This is not a bad thing. Aside from the fact that I can eat pancakes for dinner if I want to, it's nice to have some solitude once in a while. Around here, I don't get it often enough.

I actually got together with friends for Thanksgiving dinner at noon and a viewing of Ratatouille. I love that movie! I love almost anything Pixar comes up with. It was a good time with good food (I bought and brought the smoked turkey, yum!) good wine and great company. Then I came home and shoveled off the deck and the driveway because no sooner does the boy go out of town and the weather decides to turn to snow. Makes for nice ambiance, but a nervous dog who wants to be carried on and off the deck. Um, he's 60 pounds so no way am I carrying him anywhere.

All in all, a good day. I'm settling in with some leftover pumpkin pie, CSI will be on in a little bit and I think spiked hot chocolate will go well with murder and mayhem.

How are you spending your Thanksgiving? I hope it is with the ones you love!

NaNo...Losing Track

I have no clue how far into NaNo I am. I lost count of days a while ago. I do know that I'm halfway through the word count. And I'm losing steam. I have no desire to write. Some of that may be because I'm all alone for Thanksgiving (the family went to Colorado to visit the boy's sister). Could also be because my dog has cancer and almost debilitating arthritis and there's not much we can do but keep him comfy until he tells us his time is over. Could be because I have written long and hard for over two weeks and my head is numb.

No matter what the reason, I have decided to take a few days off. I haven't written a word since Sunday. Tomorrow I'm going to pick it up again and plug along. I want to make my goal. I want to hit 50,000 words. Since I'm off until next Monday, I have given myself only three things to accomplish - aside from basic home maintenance. *grin*

I am going to update and balance the cheque book.

I am going to clean the home office.

I am going to write every day and hope to get at least 10,000 words in. Minimum.

Think I can do it? Let me know. I need all the support I can get. LOL!