Controlled Chaos of Simply Madness?

I've had a hard week. And it's only Tuesday. I don't know if it's because I'm burning myself out at the day job or if it's because we're renovating and I'm not "seeing" how we're going to ever get a bathroom back or if it's because my dog, who is 13-1/2 is having all those old age things happen to him all at once. Or because I have fibromyalgia and everything is finally getting to me. Then there's the issue with my iPod, but that should be minor since it's still under warranty.

No matter what the cause, I have no desire to do anything beyond sit and read. Not good. Especially since I need to:

1. balance the cheque book
2. reconcile said cheque book for May and June
3. clean the "office" space at home which is mostly filing and tossing with some bill paying thrown in
4. clean the kitchen - hard to do when the water to the house is turned off
5. email the authors in my RWA chapter who have late August or early September releases
6. update the master attendee list for my volunteer training work at my church
7. get information on counter tops and ceiling fans for said renovations
8. and figure out what it is I'm forgetting to do
9. oh, and find time to write (duh)
   

Okay. I think I figured it out. The reason I'm so fricking out of sorts is because there is too much to do. I think it's time for me to start a chore chart at home and give myself gold stars when I finish all these things that are expected of me. And since I'm spending too much time on the computer playing or too much time on the deck reading, I should probably pull out my timer and give myself little spots of time to play in between my chores.

Sounds good in theory. When I work with my coaching clients we would develop a plan based on what motivates them. The sad thing for me, I don't know what's going to motivate me out of this funk. However, I do like the idea of the chore chart. Well, a modified chart that will help me to figure out what are my "must accomplish" and what are my "nice to haves". I think I might even assign certain tasks to days so I don't feel like I have to get it all done at once. That's another thing that's making me freak out. It's so much and the perfectionist in me wants it all done TODAY! I have news for myself. It's not going to happen. Permission to break tasks down. Permission to take some time to get things done.

Deep breath. I have a plan. The madness is still there in all it's looming glory. But I have a plan. I'm off to go through my in-box and then a 15 minute reading break. Ah, the simple things.

Back from the RWA National Conference

Wow. Seriously, wow.

The conference was great. I've attended a few - DC in 2000, New Orleans in 2001, NYC in 2003. But there was something about the energy at the Dallas RWA conference that really got to me this year. Maybe it was that I had the best roommates a girl could ask for. Maybe it was because I got to stalk...I mean support several of my favorite authors - JR Ward, Jill Shalvis, Roxanne St. Claire, Lisa Kleypas, Julia Quinn to name a few.

I think it was also that this is my first time going since I received PRO status from RWA. PRO status means I have finished at least one manuscript and I have submitted it. I have finished 4 manuscripts, and have many unfinished ones in vary stages of decay around the house. I have submitted and I have been rejected. But you know something, this year the message sunk in that it can take a long time to become published, but if this is truly a passion or something I'm compelled to do, to keep writing and to keep learning and keep submitting. What's the worst that can happen? I'm rejected, again. Been there, and it didn't sting as much as I thought it might. So, really, it's not that bad.

I've been writing stories all my life. I've been seriously writing novels for the last 4 years. I hears stories of some huge name authors who wrote and submitted for 10 + years before they were picked up by a publisher. I heard tales of authors who were doing well and then suddenly they couldn't get a writing contract to save their lives. It's a fickle business, but if you want it badly enough, you will persevere and you will eventually publish. Eventually.

Yes, it was a great conference and I'm very glad I went this year. Next year it's in San Francisco and I'm not sure i'll be abel to attend. We'll see. Cuz you just never know what's going to happen. *grin*