Nineteen Years? Seriously?

Gratitudes:

1. Hubs' mad cabinetry skills. He's buidling our kitchen cabinets from scratch and I now have the use of the majority of our new base cabinets. They are amazing.
2. The great staff at my local Barnes & Noble who are knowledgeable, patient and more friendly than any other B&N staff I have ever met. Thank you for helping me out with my replacement nook and getting me the upgrade the other store's staff didn't tell me I needed.
3. Even though it's hotter and more humid  than Satan's arm pit this week, I'm thankful that for the most part summer has been mild, sunny, and quite enjoyable.

Tomorrow will be my 19th wedding anniversary. I will have been married to Hubs for 19 years. I feel like that number should make me feel old. I mean, I remember when my parents celebrated 20 years and I thought they had been together forever at that time. In only 6  years they will celebrate their 50th. When did all that time pass?

I don't have panic attacks around birthdays. I enjoy getting older and I've learned to enjoy celebrating my life. It seems that it is the anniversary that has me gulping back the sensation that I must be getting old. I'm over forty. I see my age and I smile. My 40s are amazing so far. The best years of my life in terms of growth and opportunity. then I see how many years I've been married and I run and check my head for grey hairs and my face for pesky wrinkles.

What is it about a number that can make us feel or act crazy? In stead of feeling pulled down, I can focus on the knowledge that we have survived and thrived together for 19 years. According to some statistic I heard on the radio (and we all know what what you hear on the radio is true!), the average marriage in the USA lasts 8 years. We've more than beat the odds on that. We have much to be proud of.

Honestly, I don't think about how long we've been married. I think that's why the number surprises me. We're married and marriage is a day-by-day thing where you get out of it what you put in and if you're not willing to contribute to the relationship, that's on you. We have our ups and we have our downs, but over all we are happy. So I guess 19 years isn't such a panic inducing number after all. We'll see how I feel about 20.