I lost my job recently and the one job I really hoped to obtain fell through. I thought I was dealing rather well with this set back and with being unemployed. Sure, it's not fun and the money is going to run thin and I worry about our finances at the best of times. But I had time to find that good fit instead of looking for just another job.
And then the stark reality hit. The job market isn't strong and lay-offs are becoming the norm. And it could happen to my husband. And wouldn't that really really bite the big one if we were both out of work at the same time?
So what's a girl to do? Find a job doing what she doesn't love so the family can be sure of survival? Or hold out for that perfect fit? All the coaching I've received lately focuses on fit. But our personal fear is that we need to ensure we are paying the bills. Life marches on and the mortgage needs to be paid.
Today I am shrouded in fear. But I'm working through it. Because there is no reason life should be driven by fear. Fear lies to us. Fear holds us back. Fear keeps things the same. Caution is healthy - it makes us thing, evaluate, analyze. But fear? It does nothing but hold us back. And as much as I would love to curl up into a little ball and forget the world around me exists, that's fear talking and I cannot, will not let it win.
How do you combat fear? I don't have the answers...yet. But I do know that a lot of fear is in our heads. So I'm going to start to combat the fear. And move forward with purpose toward that new job. Praying the entire time that things don't get worse for us before they get better.
I certainly can relate to your post as I have experienced just those very things in the past. I was a stay at home mom with three small children when we had to sell our business and my husband was scrambling to get back into teaching in a new state. It was not easy - it was frightening at times - but God took us down some unexpected roads and opened some doors we never saw and worked it out in the end better than I could've hoped. It's awfully hard when you're in the thick of it, but there will be light. I wish you nothing but the best.
ReplyDeleteAnn - thank you for the kind wishes. This is a scary time for me. But I know from past experiences that I will persevere with God's provision all the way. that doesn't mean I won't falter along the way. Hopefully those faltering steps will lead me eventually right where I need to be.
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