Dear Squirrels -
Thank you for enjoying the vast quantity of walnuts we have provided for your dining pleasure. We're glad you find them tasty and are fairly certain they will help you bulk up for winter. However, we've had some complaints regarding your behavior. As of today the following behaviors will no longer be tolerated:
* dropping walnuts on vehicles
* throwing walnuts at the house
* intentionally throwing/dropping walnuts at the dog
* smearing walnut juice on the siding, deck or deck furniture
Any squirrels exhibiting the above behaviors will be escorted from the property and not invited back.
We can all live together in harmony. All we ask are some basic manners on your part.
Thank you,
The Establishment
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