Chasing Inspiration

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

The Long Road

I try to not use this blog to talk about the frustration and pain of the job search. I was laid off in November. This is true. And I did apply for a position that I felt was a perfect fit for me, but something told the hiring manager I wasn't a good fit for them. It's frustrating. Especially when you don't know what it was that caused you from moving forward.

Anyway, I'm trying to dust off and move forward. I had no idea how excited I was about this potential job until I interviewed and then I waited...and waited...and waited. There is this part of me that wants to be depressed, to go to the manager and beg for a second chance. There there is the more dignified part of me that wants to ask for feedback, thank him for his time and move forward.

I think the problem is I know what I want to be when I grow up but I struggle with that and the fact that I also like regular pay checks. I think I'm being told to step away from the safety net. And I'm not comfortable jumping without a net. So what is a girl to do?

When the road is long, a girl gathers her friends around her and she finds her strength again while she gives her bruised soul some time to heal. A girl sits down and prays for direction and is thankful that if this wasn't the right fit, for whatever reason, that the position is no longer an option. The girl finds something positive to focus on because in the end, it's being positive that is going to get her through.

How do you handle fear and disappointment? I'm curious. I have no brave words for how I handle it. Yesterday I cried and ate ice cream. Today I'm still sad but I can't sit at home in my bathrobe and do nothing. I have to push forward. I'm just thankful I have a great support system around me. I think, in the end, that makes all the difference.


  1. My way of dealing with disappointment is probably not the best. :) I usually have very low expectations so I'm usually not disappointed. I don't have a lot of trust in mankind and can be fairly cynical.

    If I genuinely look forward to something, I'll try to step back outside of myself and look at it from the other side. Then, I'll wallow slightly. Then, I'll just find something else. The third step may take longer, but I find the busier I am the more focused I can become on something else.

    When I was job searching, I looked and networked constantly so I felt like I was doing something proactive. I also temped while I job searched so I felt like I was getting a paycheck. I took a week off between temping so I could get 2 paychecks. Plus, the more busy I am, the more I can get done for some reason. The moment my momentum stops, nothing gets done. I get lazy. I'm very good at being lazy, but no one appreciates laziness.

    So, in short, I guess staying busy and doing the most I can do to make sure I'm happy is what I do. I can only control my actions and reactions so I work on doing that.

  2. Low expectations aren't a bad thing, but they are coping mechanism. I try to go in with low expectations so I don't get too caught up in disappointment. And there is some truth to the busier you are the more productive you are. I think it has to do with momentum.

    I took a break from being productive in January because I got my hopes up with this job. Now I'm back to, well, being productive but it's slow. Mostly because I'm tired of the search.